I made a drive last week that I don’t think I’ve made in almost 15 years. Follow me on the ADHD dolphining it sparked and the adventure that ensued for our 10th wedding anniversary.
Fall 2009
In early October 2009, my grandfather passed away. Over the course of a week, my life changed forever. While he was 85 years old, his death was unexpected, yet we had time to prepare…let me explain. On October 3rd, 2009, his 85th birthday, he went to the dialysis center as he did a couple times per week. On this trip, however, his blood pressure dropped dangerously low. He lost consciousness, suffered irreversible brain damage, and never regained consciousness. There was hope, initially, of some recovery at the beginning of the week, but by the end of the week, that was lost.
Losing my grandfather ties into this post in several ways. It gave me the courage to really live my life for me, to truly think about my happiness. It also brings me to the love and support of my best friend who always had my back, and although we’ve now lost her, too, in many ways, still has my back.
I was president of my regional professional association at the time. One of the responsibilities of being MEAEOPP President is attending the state conference of each of the 5 states and DC that comprise the region. The day after my grandfather was hospitalized, I was due to travel to Charleston, WV, for the 2009 WVAEOPP/VAEOPP TRIO conference (IYKYK). It was a great conference; I did my thing but high-tailed it home to see my PopPop. The day after he passed, I was due in Wilkes-Barre, PA, for the PAEOPP TRIO conference. I didn’t think I could do it, but one thing about being president and delivering remarks in all of the states: you just adapt the same remarks to each event, keeping the main points but delivering them in the context of that state. My BFF thought it would take my mind off of my loss and volunteered to drive me to the conference. This brings me to my first intersection for the present day.
Fall 2024
For our 10th wedding anniversary, my wife and I decided to go to the Poconos. Cliché as it is, the goal was solitude and reconnection, and maybe I could knock out most of the edits my chair wants for my dissertation draft. The cabin we picked was decorated like a gingerbread house and had the added bonus of a private hot tub. Mother Nature had other ideas, but more on that later. As we drove up east central PA, and I saw all of the familiar signs, I remembered that trip with Christine. And while that drive sparked memories, I can say that Chris is woven through so much more of my life. It was from her couch, on November 21, 2009, that I asked Consuela to be my girlfriend. At the time, Chris lived in Palmyra, NJ, and was considering downsizing from her house to an apartment. She asked me to come with her apartment hunting, so of course I did. Consuela and I had been dating for a little over a month at that point. Our eventual anniversary adventures this year (again, I’ll get to that in a minute) led us right back to the area Chris lived in for so many years that I could navigate it the same way I do Baltimore.
November 21, 2014
Picture it: Ellicott City, 2014. Consuela and I were wed under a tree in my aunt’s/grandparents’ backyard. Christine performed the ceremony. Durell Callier recorded and took pictures, and then we went to a diner for breakfast. One thing about Christine was that she loved a diner. She could eat breakfast any time of day, and what better place to get breakfast at 8 p.m. than a diner? NJ must have been heaven on earth for her because you can find a diner every half mile in any direction.
Back to the Present Day
Now, about this adventure—so, about this cabin in the Poconos. This was the alert on the first night of our stay, for the next day.
It actually started snowing around 1 pm that day. Now, I’m not opposed to snow. We have a 4-wheel drive vehicle and had plenty of food to last several days. The problem came when the power went out on Friday morning. That didn’t even initially pose a problem because there was a gas fireplace, and the cabin wasn’t super big. The deciding factor in moving to lower ground came when the water lines froze. So, after a day and a half in the cabin we had booked for 6 nights, we decided to look for other accommodations that would afford us warmth and a full kitchen. (The accommodations I found are a post for another time, but let’s just say I’m glad we grew up in Baltimore City and understand poverty because the location I picked was NOT a 4-star establishment. Apparently it’s not easy to find 4-start establishments on short notice with full kitchens, regardless of your price point.) We spent 2 nights in the Poconos and 3 in Mt. Laurel, NJ.
This is where the memories really started to flood. We went to breakfast at a place named Stacks on 38. As I crossed the intersection, something was wrong. As we got closer, we realized that this place used to be a Perkins. I can’t explain how often I have been to this Perkins during my trips to Palmyra. Christine frequented this place so much that I would bet anyone who visited her house in NJ has been there with her. Then, we decided to have brunch on Sunday at a beautiful restaurant on the Rancocas River. As I looked at the map, I realized that if upstream (downstream?) on the river that the township of Chris’s last home was named for – Riverside is on the Rancocas River. As we drove up and down Rt 38 and Rt 73 and passed the signs for the Tacony-Palmyra Bridge, all of the memories flooded back. I haven’t spent considerable time in this area in over a decade besides driving past the house on Market St. a couple of times in the last few years, but many of the places we went, especially the chains, are still there. As we head home tomorrow, there will always be a connection to this part of Jersey. I spent my mid-20s and most of my 30s driving to Jersey for the weekend. The memories are unforgettable.
Lifting as I Climb 