Embracing the Gray

As a young professional, I accepted the nomination to run for president-elect of my state professional association. My tenure as president elect, was cut short by the resignation of the president (that’s a story for my memoirs), and I was thrust into the office of president prematurely in February 2000, after only 5 months as president-elect. One of my first tasks as president was to arrange the annual DC lobby day, which we call the “Walk on the Hill“. (Ironically, I have accepted the task and am serving as a Team Leader again this year after many years in hiatus.) After consulting with some trusted veteran colleagues, the answer to planning the walk on the hill, came to be a congressional luncheon. Over breakfast, the morning of the luncheon, with three colleagues who went on to serve as great mentors to me over the years, I proudly remarked and marveled that I had had a driver’s license for almost 10 years at that point. They promptly burst out laughing at me. At my ripe old age of 25, each of them had had a license longer than I had been alive.

This memory sparked a couple of things for me.

• I am now the age that these wonderful mentors were when I first met them.
• I have now, also, had a drivers license for longer than some of the folks on my staff have been alive.
• The older I get, the older “old” is. When you’re 18, 40 seems old.

I have a lot to unpack with this train of thought. Over the last day or so the lives of two individuals who I’ve known for a number of years are being celebrated in memorial. One, was 76 years old, the other, just short of 44. Both lives ended too soon. My best friend in the world joined the ancestors 4 days before her 45th birthday.

The title of this blog is “Embracing the Gray”. Aging is something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently. I don’t know if it was natural aging, or the stress of living through a global pandemic, but over the last three years, it feels like my gray hair has grown exponentially. I’m not sure if this is the natural progression and would have happened in this timetable, but I didn’t notice it until I spent an abundance of time in virtual meetings.

Another thought the concept of graying brings relates to a post I saw on social media recently. A trans man was crying tears of joy because they had met another trans person who had gray hair. To put this into context, many members of the LGBTQ+ community (for a plethora of reasons) don’t live long enough to get gray hair.

I’ve been letting my hair grow out without dying it because I really wanted to see what the gray was going to look like. My mother had beautiful silver hair but the more I think about it, I don’t know that I will ever dye my hair again (don’t hold me to that), because I’m starting to recognize it as a badge of honor. I know all too well that some folks don’t make it to an age where they have gray hair.

If I can say anything to wrap this up, it’s that I hope that my life will have the impact on someone that those who have gone before me, and took the time to mentor me, both currently living and dearly departed, have had on me.